Letters from Midian
“And now my brothers I will ask you a terrible question, and God knows I ask it also of myself. Is the truth beyond all truths, beyond the stars, just this: that to live without Him is the real death, that to die with Him the only life?”- Frederick Buechner
A brief backstory
Run. Box up wedding stuff. Clean closet.
That was my list for today. Then, what happened was that I heard a new song on my run that reminded me of a little something from my ever-growing, out of control, “are you a writer or just crazy” personal archives, so instead, it is “get over yourself and publish your blog day.” (I cringe.) Also, may I add, there is nothing quite like closet cleaning to set you afire to do anything but.
A dialogue with myself
Now?
But I am still a little tired.
But there is too much at stake.
But I might be cancelled.
But I still start all my sentences with conjunctions.
{I might even be cancelled by the very ones that claim to hate cancel culture. Pause for a definition, please—Irony: a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.}
A hard question for myself
Is that who you want to be? A fraidy cat? Someone who stops short of even trying real things out of fear?
An answer
No, it is not.
A question to answer a question
Where has that ever gotten you?
THE question of all questions, as presented by Fredrick Buechner
“And now my brothers I will ask you a terrible question, and God knows I ask it also of myself. Is the truth beyond all truths, beyond the stars, just this: that to live without Him is the real death, that to die with Him the only life?”
THE answer with another rhetorical question
Yes, so what else matters?
All that to say, here it is.
Raw and a little unedited, just like the real me. Or it is, at least, my best attempt at it (ah, the writer’s unceasing heartbreak: “…but now that I’ve tried to put it all down the old fascination with playing a role returns, and I am drawn upward again. So that even before I finished I have failed”- Ralph Ellison, The Invisible Man).
Courage, I suppose, is the thing. So again I say, here it is.
These are my Letters from Midian. I’m no Moses, but I’ve spent time there on occasion. This is my way of staying mindful of the burning bush moments; Mindful of the Wonders.
Read them.
Don’t.
Love them.
Hate them.
Do both.
I can take it. In theory. I am human.
We are all human.
{Another one by Ralph- “denounce and defend…condemn and confirm, say no and say yes, say yes and say no…but too much of your life will be lost, unless you approach it as much through love as through hate.” What a guy. If you don’t want to hear quotes from my favorite writers, you’re not going to like it here.}
Start with the one called “Dry Bones” is my only advice. It’s why I’m even here on a sphere called blog. (I cringe, still)